Unclogging My Nose

So I've been sick the past couple of days. I sound ridiculous. My nose is stuffed to the point that I can't even attempt to breathe in from it or out of it for that matter. My throat is dry from breathing in through my mouth all day long, and I keep getting the chills even in 80 degree weather.

It sucks.

I've decided that enough is enough. I would like to breathe through my nose again. After all, isn't that it's purpose? So I looked online for home remedies as to how I can unclog the darn thing so that I can get a decent nights rest.

My first attempt went as follows: I stuck my head in the freezer and tried to breathe in the cold air... that obviously didn't work because I CAN'T breathe in through my nose.

Second attempt: Point a blow dryer at your nose and turn it on. Yes... it's ridiculous but I tried this also. I pointed it at my nose but to no avail. All that came out of that experiment were a couple of tears and a dry face.

Third attempt: Blowing my nose. We all know this doesn't work... if only it were that easy.

Fourth and final attempt: I'm going to give in and spread "vee-vapor-roob" as people in Miami would call it, all over my chest, back, toes, and nose and sleep with the sheets over my head. This way, I'll inhale all of the "vee-vapor-roob" as I sleep and hopefully, I'll wake up with a working nose.

That's all I have for today since I have school in about... 5 hours. Night all.