Criticism and Following Your Heart

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't. “
-Eleanor Roosevelt

I feel as if a light bulb just lit up on top of my head. I notice that what Eleanor Roosevelt said rings true and that I shouldn’t hesitate to live by this.

All my life I’ve taken steps to ensure the happiness of others even if it in turn, leaves me full of regret. I’ve always had this constant struggle with myself about whether or not I should follow what I feel is right, or do whatever everyone else thinks is right. I feel that my actions have led me to become highly unsatisfied with my situation. I am living with many regrets and I feel that no one should have to live that way.

So why is it that we care so much about what others will think? We live our lives walking on eggshells so as not to wake the sleeping giant that is criticism. We fear criticism from those who we know and love because it is their criticism that hurts the most whether they intend it to or not. Ever since I can remember, I’ve been a people pleaser. I never took care of what I wanted. Whenever I did, I was getting criticism left and right. People judged me for wanting to act my age, and I look back now and realize how happy I was. I was able to talk to whomever I wanted to, and go anywhere I wanted to without caring about what anyone else thought of me.

I unfortunately couldn’t handle the insults and the hidden conversations about my actions, and so I conformed and reverted back into being a people pleaser. I admit, it has left me drained. I don’t feel as if I am happy with my current situation. I’ve taken into realization the fact that half of the people I know, even if I love them tremendously, can be harshly judgmental.

“How could you do this? That’s not like you.”

“Why would you want to go there? You need to settle down and jump back into reality.”

“Be sensible. Go for the practical choices. Life will be much easier afterwards.”

But what if I don’t want to be practical and safe anymore? I have always played it safe, never straying far from the nest of comfort that was created for me since birth. I walked a path that I felt everyone would approve of, only to realize now that it isn’t the path I want for myself.

I crave the freedom of living life by my own rules.

We only get one chance at life. To squander that by living your life according to the rules and expectations others set out for you is just a waste of a life.

Realizing all of this, I don’t intend on letting that happen any longer.