If it were possible, I would stop time. I would stop time and just go somewhere majestic. Somewhere with trees and soft grass, somewhere with wildflowers and a little pond close by. Somewhere that isn't too hot, and not humid at all, with a soft breeze rolling through just enough so that I can feel it cooling my skin. Some place that I can lay down and close my eyes and not have to worry about anyone interrupting me.
I look outside my apartment window and see buildings and houses. I hear cars and voices. Inside of my house, in the next room, my sister is watching television... some reality show about weddings.
I hear all of this around me and I wish I can escape into the peace and tranquility that I mentioned before. Life can be so stressful at times and though I try not to take it so seriously, it's hard not to. Between school, and work, and having a social life, I deal with people on a constant basis. I am grateful for all of these things of course, but there are times when I just want to be left alone. I want to relax somewhere and not have to worry about a billion and one things. I want to just clear my mind so that I can get one pleasing thought in. Just one. I want to be able to sit down and immerse myself into the novel that has been locked away in my imagination for so long.
It wants to come out, this I know. I find myself daydreaming about it when I'm not supposed to... i.e at school, or at work... and I'm usually interrupted by the yelling of one of my students, or the lectures my professors are giving.
I'm always torn by what I really want. I want to be a hermit at times but then again, I love the fact that I can hang with my boyfriend, or my family and friends whenever I can.
These days though, it seems as if locking myself away in some cottage in Europe is all I want. I want to do so many things but I never have the time to get around to them.
I guess I sound a bit selfish right now, but aren't we all selfish at some point or another? I think we need to be a little selfish at times or else we'll never be happy. We can't always cater to the needs of others, and worry about their happiness and comfort. Who's going to look after you?
Besides, you're all you've got in the end.
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