How to Be a Bad Person

Step 1: Be happy
Step 2: In order to follow step one, you must do things that YOU want to do
Step 3: Fight for what you believe in

First off, I should never have to explain to someone why it is that I am doing something. If I choose to go to school in pajamas, then so be it. No one should care. If I want to go to work on a bicycle instead of in a car, no one should care.

Why do we all care soo damn much about what other people are doing and their reasons for doing them?

Even I care. Here I am writing about not understanding why people ask me why I am doing whatever it is I'm doing. It's like a vicious circle.

I'll just come out with what's bothering me. Catholicism is bothering me. The religion of guilt. "You had sex, you're a bad person."
"You didn't go to church? You're a bad person."
"You like Harry Potter? You're influenced by the devil, thus making you a bad person."

Why oh why do Catholics insist on making themselves look like saints when they all have their own times when they weren't exactly a "good person"?

Today is Ash Wednesday. I didn't go to church as was assumed, and so I was questioned.

I answered, "I'm not a Catholic."

It is probably assumed that I now have the devil in me. All because I believe that I'd rather have a spiritual relationship with God instead of one that involves thousands of sacrifices and tasks that don't mean a thing because guess what? God loves us anyway.

There I said it. The truth, as I see it. I don't put ANY religion down because people were obviously made differently, but I don't think I can follow a religion that makes me feel guilty for doing one thing that I WANT to do.

Like sex. What's soo wrong about sex? Not everything that feels good is bad for you.

or Harry Potter. I just don't get that. The story revolves around love, and friendship, and yet it's the devil? Come on.

Some people need to open their eyes a little more and should question themselves a little more.

All this holy-watching is making me sick.

Does this make me a bad person? To some? Yes. To others? Maybe. To myself? Heck no.

This one's for me..

1. You are amazing
2. You are by no means, a bad person
3. You CAN finish your story by your "goal deadline"

Greeting from Neverland...

I've been optimistic lately. Things have certainly been looking up for me this past weekend, and I must admit, it has done wonders for my imagination. I feel as if anything is possible.

I feel as if my imagination was a fire that had diminished into nothing but glowing embers, and now, it's a great fiery hearth, burning brighter than before. It's led me to actually continue writing the story that has been in my thoughts these past couple of years. I think it'll turn out great.

Heck, I even feel more confident which isn't easy for me to feel at all.

Whatever is the cause of this change, I doubt I want to let it go.

Free Time

I was able to have time to myself today and because of that, I feel that I have finally been able to begin the process of breaking apart my writers block. I haven't written anything meaningful in a while which bothers me in a way. I wish I had more time and privacy to do that.

I have about four stories in my head that I want to bring to life and I think I know just where to start.

Same Mistakes...

Lately I find that I've been repeating the same mistakes over and over again. The sad thing is, I thought I would learn after the first time, but it seems as if I didn't. I constantly make the same mistakes over again. Being nice to people and expecting some kind of appreciation, loving too much, setting aside goals and wishes to please others, and so on.

I think I'm going to stop. I need to. If I don't, I'll end up ruining the relationships around me.

Focusing on what I have to do for ME is all I'll be doing at this point.

It sounds selfish but we're all selfish at some point or other. I just never had my chance.

Feeling Old...

I know most people would laugh at my complaints about getting older because I am only turning 23 this year. But still... I feel like my life is rushing speedily towards full adulthood and there is no way to stop it.

"So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young. So I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun..." -John Mayer

I find myself listening to that song more and more these days. My cousin Natasha... she's 18 now, turning 19 in May, and I remember the day of her birth quite vividly. The same goes for my niece, Samantha who is graduating from high school this year.

Strange.

I freak out mostly because apparently, a woman's life ends at 30, while a man's life is just beginning. Why is time so cruel?

Another thing that made me feel old was my job. I have these two teenagers, both female, who come and volunteer to help with homework in my class.

They call me Miss. Miss... no one has ever called me that.

Well, it's not that big a deal actually. I'm probably just blowing this out of proportion. I just want to be 21 forever I suppose. What a great age that was.

I'm sure 23 will be just as amazing.